Other funny jokes

A man walk into a restaraunt and asks the lady behind the cash register, "What is your soup of the day?" She replies, "We have chicken noodle soup, pea soup, and turtle soup."
After pondering a while the man orders a delicious turtle soup. The lady says into the p.a. "One turtle soup!"
The man changes his mind and orders a pea soup. The lady makes the correction on the p.a. "Hold the turtle and make it pea!"

There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary
and those who don't.

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
Teaching Math in 1970: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set "C", the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M" and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?
Teaching Math in 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment:
Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math in 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees?
There are no wrong answers.
Teaching Math in 2000: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. How does Arthur Andersen determine that his profit margin is $60?
Teaching Math in 2010: El hachero vende un camion carga por $100. La cuesta de productiones...

When midgets take drugs, they don't get high, they get medium!

A rasta was walking down the street one day when a pixie pounced on him.
"Today is your lucky day!" said the pixie. "I'm gonna give you two wishes. What will the first one be?"
The rasta thinks for a moment and then says, "I want a never-ending joint."
So the pixie snaps his fingers and there is this king-sized joint.
The rasta jacks it up and starts puffing. After five hits the joint is still the same length. Next the rasta says, "...And number two?" The rasta replies, "This is so cool man! Gimme another one!"

Two fleas were walking out of the cinema when they discovered it was raining hard.
"Shall we walk?" said one flea.
"No," said the other, " lets take a dog."

Lay's, the most common supplier of packed air ever.

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

"My Girlfriend Hated Dubstep Until She Sat On My Subwoofer."

A horse walked into a bar. The barman says, "Why the long face?"