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Funny Lawyer jokes

Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "March 27th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."

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2016-09-14 09:54:51

Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "His face."

5
2016-09-14 09:54:51

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied,
"I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"

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2016-09-14 09:54:51

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years.
A good lawyer can make it last even longer.

5
2016-09-14 09:54:51

Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
New Jersey got to pick first.

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2016-09-14 09:54:51

What is the difference between a leech and a lawyer?
The leech stops sucking you dry after you're dead.

5
2016-09-14 09:54:51

Did you hear about the lawyer who was solicited to be a Jehovah's Witness?
He refused because he didn't see the accident but said he would be interested in taking the case.

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2016-09-14 09:54:51

Q: Why don't sharks bite lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

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2016-09-14 09:54:51

Q: If a skunk and a lawyer both get hit by cars and are lying in the middle of the road, how do you tell them apart?
A: The skunk has skid marks in front of it.

5
2016-09-14 09:54:51

What are the three questions most commonly asked by lawyers?
1. How much money do you have?
2. Where can you get more?
3. Do you have anything you can sell?

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2016-09-14 09:54:51