Other funny jokes

A guide was showing Niagara-Falls to a man from Texas and said; I’ll bet you don’t have anything like this in Texas. The Texan said;
nope, but in Texas we have plumbers who can fix it.

A guy in plane stood up and shouted
"HIJACK !!!"
All passengers got scared and raised Hands
.
.
.
.
from other end Of the plane a guy shouted back
"Hi JOHN" !!!

"If you fall, I'll be there." - Floor

Boy: You are ABCDEFGHIJK
Girl: What does that mean?
Boy: Attractive, Brilliant, Cute, Darling, Elegant, Funny, Gorgeous, Hot!
Girl: Awwwww! What does IJK mean?
Boy: I´M JUST KIDDING!

So, I had a dream I was a muffler last night. When I woke up, I was EXHAUSTED.

Q: What's the difference between a rapist and Windows?
A: A rapist never asks for permission a thousand times before doing it.

I used to be a schyzophrenic, but now, we are fine..

"Can I have a Pepsi?"
"Is Coke alright?"
"Uh, is Monopoly money alright?"

- Make me a sandwich !
- No!
- Sudo make me a sandwich !
- Yes master.

CAN FEBRUARY MARCH? NO, BUT APRIL MAY