Other funny jokes

Okay, so you're 10 years old, you have a laptop, iPod, Facebook and a Blackberry. Dude, when I was 10 I had a Tamagotchi...

Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
A: "BREATHE YOU IDIOT, BREATHE!"

To celebrate their silver anniversary, a couple went to Niagara Falls and asked a motel clerk for a room.
"We only have the honeymoon suite available," she told them.
"My wife and I've been married 25 year," the man said.
"We don't need the honeymoon suite."
"Look, buddy," replied the clerk. "I might rent you Yankee Stadium, but you don't have to play baseball in it!"

I think my smartphone is broken. I keep pressing the Home button, but I'm still working.

A jet ran into some turbulent weather. To keep the passengers calm the flight attendants brought out the beverage carts. "I’d like a soda," said a passenger in the first row. Moving along, the attendant asked the man behind her if he would like something. "Yes, I would," he replied. "Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!"

What did the bee say to the flower? “Hey bud, when do you open?

A saxophone is like a lawsuit. Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

Two eggs, a sausage, and a pancake walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast."

A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".

TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!