Funny Latest Jokes

First woman in space: “Houston, we have a problem.”
What?
"Never mind." 
What’s the problem?
"Nothing." 
Please tell us.
"I’m fine."

Chuck norris was born on May 6 1945. De Nazi surrenderd on May 7 1945.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Doctor: "You look exhausted." 
Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."

Baby, baby, baby ooh!
Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber?
Daughter: No, I’m watching porn.
Mom: Oh, thank goodness.

Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.

Q: What is Claustrophobia?
A: The fear of Santa Claus.

Q: What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?
A: Ice cream.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn’t dead it is just afriad to move.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she puts lipstick on, she looks like a hamburger.