Other funny jokes

Yo mamma so fat the back of her neck looks like a 12 pack of hot dogs.

Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8?
Student: Miss horizontally or vertically?
Teacher: What do mean?
Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.

A man walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables around his neck. The bartender points at him and says,
"I'm gonna let you in this time, but don't you start anything!"

Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?
A: Between you and me something smells.

Employer: "We need someone responsible for the job."
"Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong,everybody said I was responsible."

A reporter asked Chris Rock who do you think would win the presidency? He said quickly Obama. When asked why, he replied, has anyone ran a race with a Kenyan and won?

Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because he saw the salad dressing.

Q: What kind of bees make milk?
A: Boobies

Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory. He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back. "Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away. Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?" The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."

Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"