Funny Woman jokes

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Q: What is the diffrence between a dog and a woman?
A: If you put a dog and a woman in a car’s trunk for 3 hours and you open the trunk, the dog will still be happy to see you.

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. "Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?" "Wrong number,” replied the girl.

A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Q: Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen?
A: Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

Since it started to rain, my wife can't stop looking through the window. If it will start pouring down, I'm afraid I will have to let her inside.

Wife to her husband: "I told you I'll be back in five minutes, so why you are calling me every half an hour?"

Q: Why do women make better soldiers?
A:Because they can bleed for a week and not die.

For all the guys who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember that's where the knives are kept.

Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face?
A: When her mustache is on fire.