Funny Woman jokes

Women are like computers, even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

It is silly for a woman to go to a male gynecologist. It is like going to an auto mechanic who has never even owned his own car.

Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: It allows them to stand closer to the sink.

The taxi pulls up outside the lady's house and the cabbie turns around and says: "that'll be $12"
The woman in the back has no money, instead she pulls up her skirt and spreads her legs -
"Can I pay with this?" she asks...
"Jeez, haven't you got anything smaller?" cabbie replies.

When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said:
''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''.

What do you call a woman with one black eye? Quick learner.
What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Disrespectful.

A man gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and shouts,
"Honey, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!" The wife says,
"Great! What should I pack for? The ocean or the mountains?" He says,
"I don't care! Just be out by the end of the week!"

A woman had 8 sons all named Kevin. On asking how she managed to call one in particular She replied:
That's easy. I call them by their fathername !

Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is 24 hours a day/seven days a week?
A: A widow

A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."