Funny Lawyer jokes

Q: What's the best way to get a hold of a lawyer?
A: By the neck...

To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice.
To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney.

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started."

Some people say there are no rules when it comes to love. Unfortunately for me the judge disagreed.

How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Just say, "Fees."

Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? People were confused about which side to spit

Q: What do you get if you cross The Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can not understand.