Funny Latest Jokes

The British drive on the left side of the road, because Chuck Norris drives on the right.

Teacher: Suppose you have 10 chocolates. You give 3 to Tina, 2 to Mina and 3 to Sema. What do you have now?
Boy: I would have 3 girlfriends.

Master: "Why didn’t you water the plants yesterday?" 
Servant: "It was raining." 
Master: "Don’t make excuses! You could have used an umbrella!"

Q: What is the diffrence between a dog and a woman?
A: If you put a dog and a woman in a car’s trunk for 3 hours and you open the trunk, the dog will still be happy to see you.

Q: How do you get a sweet 80 year old lady to say the F**k word?
A: Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell *BINGO*!

For Sale: Parachute - only used once, never opened.

My birth certificate was a letter of apology that my dad got from the condom company…

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. "Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?" "Wrong number,” replied the girl.

A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron".
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive...