A peanut and a banjo
One day a man walked into a bar with a peanut and a banjo. He set the banjo on the table and the banjo said, "Give me your strongest bottle of tequila." "Wow, can I buy that banjo from you?" The bartender said. "Well, sure, but it has to be around two thousand dollars." The man sold the banjo and the man next to him said, "You, idiot, you could have gotten millions!" "No I couldn't, it was actually my ventriloquist peanut that said that!"
