Funny Blonde jokes
A blond had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes officer, I'm just fine!" the blond chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blond began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth".
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A: They know how many went down on the Titanic.
There are three moms. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says
"Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed."They comfort her, and the redhead says
"Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her. Then the blonde says
"That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"
Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida. As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!" After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back
Q: What is a brunette between two blondes?
A: An interpreter.
Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
Im changing my name to 'Benefits' on Facebook. Next time someone adds me, It will say "you are now friends with Benefits".
Q: Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet?
A: To feed the toilet duck!
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.