Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris is not cool. By saying that, I have decreased my life to 5 seco.....

Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!

It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

Chuck Norris only gives one Xmas present. He allows you to live.

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.

Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.

When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!!!!!"
When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating. He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.