Funny Latest Jokes

Two blondes fell down a hole. One said,
"It's dark in here isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see.

Mommy, mommy, in class today we did ABC but I said "ABCDEF." Is that because I am blonde? Yes, dear that's because you're blonde.
Mommy, mommy, we counted one, two, three, but I counted one, two, three, four five, six. Is that because I'm blonde? Yes, dear, it's because you are blonde.
Mommy, mommy, everyone else in the class doesn't even need a bra, but I wear a "C" cup. Is that because I'm blonde? No, dear. It's because you're 22.

This is a true story of a poor dizzy blond flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day.
"May Day! May Day! Help Me! Help Me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead and I don't know how to fly. Help Me! Please Help Me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying: "This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position!"
She says, "I'm 5'4 and i'm in the front seat."
(pause)
"O.K." says the voice in the radio....... "Repeat after me: Our father who art in heaven........"

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Death: It's your time. give me your hand
Blonde: No! i know that if i dont touch you then I'll never die!
Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You're soooo smart! High five! Blonde: *high fives*

A blonde walks into a library and says, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
The librarian says, "I'm sorry, this is a library."
So the blonde whispers, "Can I have a burger and fries?"

Q: Why did God give men penises ?
A: So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy"
"I know," she replied, but what’s growing in your butt?"

Q: What's the difference between a paycheck and your dick ?
A: You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.

Q: Why do men die before their wives ?
A: They want to.