Funny Latest Jokes

Q: What did the blanket say when it fell of the bed?
A: "Oh sheet!"

John, do you think I’m a bad mother?
My name is Paul.

"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In a stork???!!!"

Q: Why do women live on average two years longer?
A: Because the time they spend parking doesn’t count.

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.

Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I’d still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike.

Q: What do you call it when a chicken sees a salad?
A:Chicken Caesar salad.

"Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?"
"No, I'm sorry I don't."
"Well, it's two blocks this way, then one block to the left."

"I was born in California."
"Which part?"
"All of me."

Pessimist: "Things just can't get any worse!"
Optimist: "Nah, of course they can!"