Funny Latest Jokes

My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.

Q: Why does vegan cheese taste bad?
A: It hasn’t been tested on mice.

Voldemort: Knock Knock.
Harry Potter: Who's There?
Voldemort: You Know.
Harry Potter: You Know Who?
Voldemort: Exactly!

Q: What did Dr. Dre say when 50 cent gave him a sweater?
A: Gee, you knit?

My son´s just received a scholarship to medical school - but they don´t want him while he´s alive.

Q: Why do farts stink?
A: So that deaf people can enjoy them too!

A police officer pulls over a car full of old women.
He says "Mam, you realize you can't drive that slow on the highway. It's dangerous."
She responds "Isn't the speed limit 33?"
Laughing the cop says "No man, this is highway 33. That's not the speed limit."
He looks into the back of the car and the women are frightened. He asks "What's wrong with them?"
The lady says "I don't know. We just came off of Highway 144."

A police officer came to my house trying to tell me my dog was chasing a kid on a bike.
I told him, "My dog doesn't even have a bike."

Q: Why is sex with a hipster so boring?
A: They don't like things that are in.

A blind man walks into a bar and sits for a while with nobody talking to him.
He says "Anybody want to hear a blonde joke?"
The bartender tells him "Before you tell it I just want to let you know there is a cage fighting blonde on one side of you and a large blonde softball player on the other side. I'm also a blonde and I can bench 300 pounds. Do you still want to tell that joke?"
The blind man replies "Obviously not! I don't have time to explain the joke 3 times."