Funny Latest Jokes
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
A blonde calls her mom...
Blonde: Mom mom!! I'm a genius!
Mother: Really dear? How's that possible?
Blonde: I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said "for 2-5 yrs".
Two atoms were walking across a road when one of them said,
"I think I lost an electron!"
"Really!" the other replied, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I 'm absolutely positive."
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
Jesus and Satan were having an argument as to who was the better programmer. This went on for a few hours until they agreed to hold a contest with God as the judge. They sat at their computers and began. They typed furiously for several hours, lines of code streaming up on the screen. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning struck, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power was restored, and God announced that the contest was over. He asked Satan to show what he had come up with. Satan was visibly upset, and cried, "I have nothing! I lost it all when the power went out." "Very well, then," God said, "Let us see if Jesus did any better." Jesus entered a command, and the screen came to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir poured forth from the speakers. Satan was astonished. He stuttered, "But how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?" God chuckled. "Jesus Saves" he said.
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.
My neighbor is a real Genie. Whenever I open a bottle, he comes to me.
It's very difficult to be dumb these days. The competition is simly too big.