Funny Latest Jokes

Hypocrisy – When a Jehovahs Witness doesn’t celebrate Halloween because they don’t like random people knocking on their doors.

1. Find a woman who can cook and clean.
2. Find a woman who is an animal in bed.
3. Find a woman with lots of money.
4. Make sure none of these 3 women ever meet each-other.

Officer: Do you know why I stopped you, son?
Driver: Cause you thought I had some doughnuts?

Officer to driver going the wrong way up a one way street.
Offocer: "And where do you think you are going?"
Driver: "I'm not sure, but I must be late as everyone else is coming back."

Q: How can you tell a blonde has been having a bad day?
A: She has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.

Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.

Q: Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?
A: Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!

Teacher: Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, "geometry."
Little Johnny: A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, "Gee, I'm a tree."

Last night I had a salad for dinner. It was a fruit salad and had grapes. Lots of grapes. It was all grapes. It was wine