Funny Latest Jokes

A thief had just broken into a house where he was certain the owners were gone for the evening, when he heard a very strange voice say: "Jesus is watching you!" He froze for a few seconds and then realized that the voice sounded like a parrot's. Turning his flashlight in the direction of the voice, he indeed saw a parrot in a cage. "Is your name 'Jesus'?" he asked the bird. "My name is 'Moses', asserted the parrot. "Who on Earth would name a parrot 'Moses'?" asked the thief. "The same people who named their Rottweiler 'Jesus'!" replied the parrot.

Q: What did the snail say as he rode on the back of the turtle?
A: Whhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

A rooster was strutting around the henhouse one Easter morning and came across a nest of eggs dyed every color of the rainbow. The rooster took one look at the colorful display, ran outside and beat the heck out of the resident peacock.

Q: Why was the cow crying?
A: She had a moo disorder.

Q:Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
A: To keep their nuts dry

There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, “moo” and the other one says, “That’s what I was going to say.”

I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.

Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?" The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

Q: What's red and green and goes at 100 mph?
A: frog in a blender.