Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder. "I have an idea," said Mike. "We''ll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder." "What, do you think I''m stupid? I have an idea. I''ll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light." "What, do you think I''m stupid? You''ll just turn off the flashlight when I''m halfway there."

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don''t know," responded the other. "I''ll ask him."So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in the hot sun and you''re standing in the shade?" "Intelligence," the boss said. "What do you mean, intelligence''?"The boss said, "Well, I''ll show you. I''ll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can." The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss'' hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, "That''s intelligence!"The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did he say?" "He said we are down here because of intelligence." "What''s intelligence?" said the friend. T he ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, "Take your shovel and hit my hand."

I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at itcause it was prettier than most.The clerk said, "It''s made in Germany".I said, "That''s too bad, I can''t use it then".The clerk said, "What''s the matter? You don''t like German pens?"I said, "No. I just never learned to write German."

Did you hear about the hillbilly who went into the hardware store tobuy a chain saw ?He said I want one that will cut down at least 10 trees a day.He was back at the hardware store with the saw a couple days latercomplaining that it onlycut one tree and that took all day.The clerk at the hardware store started the saw to see what theproblem was.The hillbilly jumped back and said what the hell is that noise?

She''s so stupid she thinks a shoplifter is a very strong person who goes round picking up shops.