A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box.
She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that.
The blonde replies "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail".

A guy goes into a grocery store and buys a gallon of milk, a loaf of bread, and a pound of bacon. He takes it up to the checkout isle and the you lady who rings him out says "Wow, you must be single." The man replies "Yes. How did you know?" The cashier says "Because you're ugly."

what's the difference between a teacher and a train? the teacher tells the student to spit the gum and out and the train says "chew chew"

Q. You are in a room, compleatly sealed in. There is 4 walls a roof and a floor. there are no windows or doors. The only things in the room(other than you) are a mirror and a table. How do you get out?

A. You look in the mirror, and see what you SAW.
You take the SAW and cut the table in HALF.
Two HALVES make a WHOLE.
Go through the HOLE you just made and get out.